"The fact that it really sinks in – that, to me, is the crux of the matter. Actively wanting to understand what the other person is trying to say, rather than just hearing what you want to hear so you can carry on from there. That selective listening actually happens far more often than you might think."
Active listening.
That sounds simpler than it is. Because active listening goes far beyond simply hearing what the other person is saying. It’s all about attention, interpretation and intention. Did you know that people listen in very different ways? One person listens mainly to assess whether a task is feasible, another focuses straight away on the financial implications, whilst yet another listens primarily from their own perspective. The way in which you and your staff actively listen largely determines how well you understand one another and how smoothly your collaboration runs.
Dust off that thick dictionary on the shelf, open it up and read this under the word ‘listening’: ‘to hear attentively and purposefully so that something sinks in’. That it sinks in – that, for me, is the crux of it. Actively wanting to understand what the other person is saying, not just hearing what you want to hear so you can then proceed from there. That selective listening actually happens quite often, without us realising.
This applies to managers too, but let’s take a step back first. Why is it important to listen properly, and what do we actually want to hear? As a manager, you’ve no doubt heard and seen this advice often: listen to your staff. But how do you do that?
Our clients are HR professionals, just like you. With askemo, they support their employees in seven key areas, such as vitality, engagement and mental wellbeing. What’s more, they can see whether the initiatives they put in place are actually working. This is because we don’t just send out a one-off employee survey; instead, we measure progress on an ongoing basis. And it works!
This often starts with a clear objective in mind. For example, are you looking for input on a new idea, or do you want to improve an existing working method? Once the objective has been established, it is your job as a manager to decide how you will gather feedback. This can be done through a face-to-face meeting or via online interaction. Whatever your preference, always bear the objective in mind. After all, it must be clear to your employee(s) why they need to provide feedback; only then will you receive the best input.
Once employees have provided you with valuable input, it is important not to respond immediately. First, think carefully about why an employee is saying or asking something and where this comes from. Hearing a response is simple, but the power lies in truly listening. This also means you must ask follow-up questions to uncover the underlying answer. The LSD method (Listen, Summarise, Ask follow-up questions) is a useful tool for providing a response that benefits the speaker and offers immediate clarity after listening carefully.
What active listening entails is clearly illustrated by the Chinese character for listening (聽). A single Chinese character conveys far more than a single word. This is because each Chinese character can consist of sub-characters and sub-components that together form the main character. Take a look at the image below.
As you can see, the Chinese character for listening consists of four elements:
Ear – Take in what is being said. Don’t get caught up in your own story; focus on the other person.
Eye – Look your conversation partner in the eye and be aware of non-verbal communication.
Heart – Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and show empathy. Genuine interest is crucial here.
Respect – Let the other person finish speaking and show understanding for different opinions and perspectives.
To listen effectively as a manager within an organisation, you will need to go beyond simply hearing the employee’s story. Show that you are genuinely interested in what the employee has to say or ask, and allow this to sink in before you respond. This demonstrates your interest.
An active listening approach also involves making eye contact with the employee so that you can ascertain exactly what they mean. If you do not yet fully understand their story, ask for clarification first and do not make assumptions. Otherwise, as a manager, you might say something that does not address the question asked.
When listening with full attention, you use not only your ears and eyes; empathy and the ability to put yourself in the other person’s shoes are also crucial. As a manager, you must demonstrate to your employee in practice that you understand them and can empathise with their situation. This builds trust. By listening with your heart, that genuine interest becomes apparent.
It may seem obvious, but listening well also means that, as a manager, you show respect for your employee. Even if this does not entirely align with your own standards and values. Always show understanding and decency by letting the other person finish speaking, regardless of what you intend to do with it yourself.
We began this blog by discussing the importance of listening well. It is no coincidence that we have been given two ears and one mouth – so that we may listen twice as much as we speak. As a manager, always bear this in mind when communicating with your employees. Listen carefully, let it sink in, and only then respond respectfully. In this way, you listen not only with your eyes and ears, but also with your heart. You will then quickly understand how the employee is feeling, enabling you, as a manager, to respond immediately.
Roel Schellekens
Founder of askemo
